Four months on

On Tuesday it was four months since Mum died.

In that time I have experienced varying emotions...

There have been some days when I have not really thought about mum at all. When I then remember her I feel guilty - as if by forgetting about her for a moment I have somehow betrayed her memory. I know that this isn't true, but in the moment of realisation it feels like it.

In contrast, at other times I have seen her face everywhere I look.

Not surprisingly I have found some days harder than others - my birthday, for example. For all that I had a lovely day, something didn't seem quite right. It was as though a shadow hung over the whole day; a sense that something - or someone - was missing.

People continue to ask me how I am. If I'm honest I don't always know what to say. Sometimes I'm genuinely fine. At other times I feel anything but.

I'm struck that the frequency with which people have asked me has changed. It's a good lesson pastorally for me. Other people often have shorter memories of death than those who grieve.

But here's what strikes me the most... for all that I grieve mum's death, my grief is different to dad's.

He has lost the wife of his youth.

At the end of the day I go home to Debs, Tom, Grace & Laura. Dad goes home to an empty house.

His life has now changed for ever. He cannot go back. He will never be married to mum again. Even in the new creation, when they see each other again, it won't be as husband and wife. Nothing is the same.

Biblically speaking mum and dad were one flesh, but when mum died dad was literally torn apart.

And yet for all this, God the Father wonderfully reveals himself to us as 'the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort' who comforts us in our troubles so that we can in turn comfort others.

So that son can comfort father, and father son, and together we can comfort others who also grieve.

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My forever family

I love reading the dedications in the front of books (I think I've blogged about this before). They are one of the first things I turn to when I pick up a book. I'm not quite sure why I like them so much. I suspect it's the sentimental part of me.

Today I started reading 'Grieving, Hope, and Solace - when a loved one dies in Christ,' by Albert N. Martin, published by CruciformPress (who are a super little publishing company, by the way) and loved his dedication...

To the members and friends of Trinity Baptist Church who, as my "forever family," wept with me during my long night of weeping, and who have rejoiced with me in my extended morning of joy.

Praise God for his gift of the church family.


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Church Planter

I was recently asked to review Darren Patrick's book, Church Planter. Here's what I wrote...

Church Planter is the first book on church planting to come out of the Acts 29 stable. The key is in the title – Church Planter. This is not a book about church planting per se (like Mike McKinley’s, Church Planting is for Wimps, or Graham Beynon’s, Planting for the Gospel), but the men who plant churches. It’s a call to be God’s man, being transformed by and proclaiming God’s gospel message, wholeheartedly pursuing God’s mission. This call shapes the book, which falls into three parts: the first looks at the requirements for God’s man, the second examines the message he’s to be shaped by and proclaim, whilst the third explores the mission he’s to undertake.

Church Planter is an easy and stimulating read. I found myself frequently underlining comments and marking particular sections to come back to. Personal highlights were the Preface (‘Why focus on Men?’) and the chapters on being ‘A Dependent Man’ (“As goes our walk with God, so goes our ministry.” pp.59-60), ‘A Determined Man’ (“Often a pastor has the greatest impact on his church only after he has been there a number of years. When pastors fail to endure in ministry, they drastically cut short their impact.” p.93), and ‘The Heart of Mission: Compassion’ (“The motive for mission is compassion. We join Jesus on his mission not because we want to grow our church or because we like to dispense apologetic insights to skeptics or even because we like to hang out with unbelievers. We go on the mission of the Saviour because we share the compassionate heart of the one who sees people as sheep without a shepherd.” p.176)

You can spot the influence of others, such as Darren Patrick’s friend, Mark Driscoll, and Tim Keller. If you like them, I’m sure you will like this too. That said, some of this might be familiar.

Church Planter is a thought-provoking book. I’m not sure I agreed with everything, but it certainly challenged me in a good way. It also left me with one or two questions. For example, how does its focus on the church planter relate to different models of church planting? Does every plant need a full-time church planter? We may find this desirable, but that’s not to say it’s essential. As Graham Beynon remarks, in Planting for the Gospel, what’s needed is leadership, teaching, and pastoral oversight. (Incidentally, Church Planter would still be useful for non full-time church planters.)

Looking back, I would have liked more on the centrality of Word Ministry and Prayer – a reminder, to coin a phrase, that the Spirit of God does the work of God through the Word of God. This may seem an odd comment to make given the chapter, ‘A Skilled Man’ in the first section, the second section on the message, and the chapter, ‘The How of Mission: Contextualisation’ in the third section of the book, but I think this could have been more pronounced.

But don’t let this discourage you from reading it. Church Planter would make a great book not only for the church planter, or would-be church planter, but for any church leader, or would-be church leader. In fact, it would be a shame if the title discouraged non-church planters from reading it, because this is a really helpful book for pastors and church planters alike.

PrayerMate

I recently downloaded the PrayerMate app from the iTunes store. It's a great little app to organise your prayers.

It allows you to set categories, and then within those categories, subjects. So, for example, I currently have the following categories:

• Biblical prayers
• Personal Godliness
• Family
• Church
• Gospel Workers
• World Mission
• Friends
• People in need

Within those categories you can then set the various subjects that you'd like to pray for.

Each time you use it, you pray through each category, but you decide how many many subjects you will pray for each time.

When you've prayed for that item, you then swipe it to the left. In this way, PrayerMate records when you last prayed for something and how many times you've prayed for it.

I find that if I'm not organised my prayer life becomes very inconsistent. I can see that this app will be really useful in this regard.

I'm also conscious that people often ask me to pray for things, but unless I make a note of them there and then, it's easy to forget. Having an app with me like this, will make me much more likely to keep a record of things, and, therefore, to be faithful in prayer.

Many thanks to Andy Geers for developing this.

Two further observations on the riots

One of the most common reactions to the rioting and looting has been anger.

Anger at those responsible for the violence.
Anger at their parents.
Anger at those in authority.
Anger at the police force.

Watching the news I have seen people literally shaking with anger at what has happened.

What do we make of this? Let me make two further observations:

We are right to be angry at sin. There would be something wrong with us if we didn't feel angry. Anger is not the opposite of love; it's the outworking of it. Because God loves the world he has made and rules over, he hates sin. He hates what it does. In the words of Psalm 5:5, 'He hates all who do wrong.' We are right, therefore, to be angry at sin.

But righteous anger can easily turn to sin - especially where it expresses itself as self-righteousness.

The gospel will not allow us to pretend that we are better than the rioters and looters. Were it not for the grace of God (both his saving grace and his common grace) who knows where we would be and what we would be caught up in.

As John Stott once said, were it not for the gospel I would be on the scrap heap of wasted and discarded lives.


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Two observations on the riots

Like many others I have been shocked by the riots in parts of London and, last night, other cities around the country.

Neil Powell has written a very helpful article here on how Christians should think and respond to these events. I recommend it.

Let me just make two comments...

• watching the scenes unfold on our TV screens makes me very thankful that this is not the norm in the UK. In part we are shocked because we don't expect things like this to happen here. But that is only true because of God's common grace - that is, "the grace of God by which he gives people innumerable blessings that are not part of salvation" (Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology, p.657). The riots, therefore, teach us not to take God's common grace for granted, but to be thankful that, in his mercy, he restrains evil and does not treat us as we deserve.
• I like to think that I take the doctrine of sin seriously, but my surprise at the rioting and looting would suggest otherwise. As Neil notes, "We are not surprised by the events of the last few nights (although we are saddened and shocked) because as Christians we recognise the doctrine of total depravity when we see it." The problem is I think many of us are surprised. We don't expect things like this to happen here. For me, one of the striking things has been how quickly things have escalated. It really doesn't take much for the thin veneer of civility to be ripped away. So then, just as the riots teach us to be thankful for God's common grace, they also teach us not to be surprised at the sinfulness of ordinary people.

Sparkford '11

It's a week ago now since Tom and I got back from Sparkford - a CPAS venture holiday for 14-18 year olds.

This year was Tom's second year as a member. He seemed to enjoy it this year even more than last.

I've now been involved with Sparkford for about 18 years I think, although I missed a couple of summers a few years ago.

I am so grateful to God for Sparkford. Amongst other things...

• it's a great opportunity to proclaim the gospel - to Christian and non-Christian young people
• humanly speaking Sparkford has been one of those things that God has used to keep me on track and help me keep going
• it's a great joy to serve alongside other people who are wholeheartedly committed to the gospel
• some of my dearest Christian friends are fellow leaders on the camp
• God has taught me so much about Christian ministry from serving alongside others and sitting under their ministry
• Sparkford is a great opportunity to serve - I now help with what we call the Taskforce team (who are effectively junior leaders), and a lot of my time this year was spent washing up in the scullery - it's a great reminder that Christian leadership is about service
• it's a great encouragement to see young people growing as Christians, serving on the Taskforce team, and joining the leaders' team - this year we had a number of first-time leaders, who'd all served on Taskforce last year
• it's a great opportunity to train a new generation of Christians to serve Christ and his gospel, wherever God puts them
• and now, of course, my own children are starting to come and I see the fruit in their lives too

Dear Father, thank you for Sparkford. Please continue to use it to grow the gospel in this country and beyond, for your glory. Amen.